silversong79:

zhinxy:

autumnhobbit:

the story of bruce wayne is fundamentally about a guy whose life went to shit pretty early on through no fault of his own, and his reaction was to dedicate the rest of it to trying to keep it from happening to anyone else, and tbh that’s why i love him, so any adaptation that doesn’t capture that isn’t a good one

I can’t co-sign this enough. 

I try not to add to posts but this is so important to me??? Bruce Wayne written correctly is not a grimdark male power fantasy, he’s the epitome of hopepunk. Like he sees exactly how fucked up the world and people are in vivid detail regularly and his response is essentially to wade right into the sea of terribleness and start making it better piece by piece and I will always love him for that

stabby-the-roomba:

spacefaringviking:

dixeyray:

flyingwerecats:

theotheristhedoctor:

bisected8:

jumpingjacktrash:

dearthoughthenightisgone:

petralemaitre:

somethingninga:

aethersea:

sepulchritude:

on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer” species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba™ with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship

it doesn’t have any special intelligence. it’s just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don’t have knives. it’s just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.

“what is the point?” asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. “is it to test your speed and agility?”

“no it doesn’t really go that fast,” replies the captain.

“does it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?”

“I mean I guess so but that’s more of a side effect.”

“does it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?”

“it doesn’t stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool — someone write that down.”

“but then what is its purpose?”

“I don’t know,” the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. “it just seemed cool”

this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it would take maybe three weeks before even I was inordinately fond of Stabby. I would be proud of Stabby when I met up with my other spacefleet friends for space coffee, I would tell them about the time Stabby got the second mate in the ankle five seconds before the fleet admiral beamed on board and she swore in seven different languages in front of high command. 

also by the fourth day Stabby would be in the ship’s log, he’d have little painted-on insignia, people would salute him as he went by, and someone would hook up a twitter account to tweet maniacal laughter and/or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone.

Omg so the ting I typed up might actually happen this is gold

I am suddenly astonished that Stabby isn’t Farscape canon. 1812 was weird enough.

Stabby’s little charging dock would start accruing cuddly toys and commemorative holo-vids of Stabby’s greatest stabs. Its insignia would start off at a fairly low rank, but soon, without anyone every discussing it, everyone would know that Stabby got to take the rank of the highest ranking crew member it stabbed. The ceremony for Flag Admiral Stabby was beautiful. The captain gave a speech. 

why am i proud of stabby this is irrational

INCIDENT LOG: 46-7-2 Action #45437: Desc: Covert enemy boarding attempt

Details: Six (6) members of a Mercenary/Pirate crew of little renown attempted to infiltrate ship in order to steal equipment and/or personnel.

Prior to being detained they had remained undetected for eight (8) hours and accumulated several high value materials (see attached log), and incapacitated and restrained several crewmen (see attached log) in dock #3, with the intention of using a life boat to exfiltrate.

Just prior to their would-be escape, the boarding party encountered the ship’s mascot. A cleaning unit which had been modified by crew members to mount a traditional Terran melee weapon, as well as an officer’s insignia (having been jokingly given a commission by the Captain the night before). Curious, one picked it up, before realising the mounted weapon had a nickel finish (highly toxic to their species) on the handle, and dropped it in a panic.

As the unit’s anti-impact sensors had been disabled, it immediately tried to right itself on landing. This caused it to flip over and slash the third knee of the boarder who dropped it, prompting the rest of the boarders to flee. In doing so, they tripped over a waste container, causing the unit to “chase” them, as it collected the trail of dust they left.

The security crew were alerted to the boarding party’s presence by an entry on “Sargent Stabby’s Hit List” – an account on an intership microblogging site which automatically logs any injuries caused by the cleaning unit in question – and quickly intercepted them.

Casualties: Four (4) crewmen treated for minor lacerations sustained after detaining boarding party, one (1) captured crewman treated for negative reaction to sedatives used by captors.

Belligerent status: Two (2) members of the enemy boarding party remain in stable condition in sickbay. Three (3) remaining surrendered peacefully and remain in the brig. One (1) refuses to leave the safety of a storage cupboard he went to ground in.

Recommendations/Actions:

• All captured guards to undergo debriefing and possible disciplinary action for breaches of security protocol.
• Remind all crew members to report missing colleagues immediately.
• Retain a guard outside cleaning storage room 87 until the final boarder can be coaxed out and properly detained.
• Cleaning unit D4.87 AKA

  “Sargent Stabby” has been promoted to Quartermaster, and is now considered the superior officer of all autonomous drones on the ship. All Class #1 drones have been programmed to salute their superior with their effector, should it enter the room while they’re active.

Ok but what about that final bit – all the other space roombas respectfully standing to the side and saluting when Quatermaster Stabby comes past?

Quartermaster Stabby goes on to have many more adventures and many more promotions.

Quartermaster Stabby becomes a famous icon of the human race, proof that humans can and often are unintentionally terrifying, but maybe there actually IS something to their strange attachments to inanimate objects…?

Aliens are now convinced that humans have some weird psychic/aura powers or something. “Object Tamers” they call us. Humans are so amused that they adopt the term for themselves. They love it. They start printing it on bracelets and T-shirts. Aliens can’t tell if this is a joke or a confession.

Through a disturbing number of coincidences like the above, aliens begin to fear Quartermaster Stabby and are legitimately unsure if it has intelligence or not. It doesn’t help that humans refuse to break the joke to explain it to them.

Alien scientists try to explain the strange phenomenon that is Quartermaster Stabby. They cannot. Humans are delighted.

Quartermaster Stabby is eventually promoted to a position of authority over all autonomous drones in the entire human empire. It also escaped the ship once and managed to become the mayor of a small alien city. That city has since begun using the fact as a tourist attraction, and the episode has brought to human attention the fact that Mayor Stabby technically fulfills all of the criteria necessary to become a president or council member. (Minus the sentience.)

Humans are now trying to vote Mayor Stabby into office, using the aliens’ inability to determine its sentience level to their advantage.

They are successful. Counselor Stabby is most universally beloved representative of the human race. (Among humans, anyway. The aliens have mixed reactions, ranging from amusement, to fear, to outrage.)

Counselor Stabby goes on to somehow reveal a corrupt plot among several other counsel members and essentially averts a huge political catastrophe, all because one of the spies dropped her earring and Counselor Stabby ate it. The earring was bugged. Good call, Counselor Stabby.

Every time Counselor Stabby breaks down and has to be repaired, trillions of humans flood its social media accounts with ‘get well’ messages, and many flowers and gifts are sent to the repair bay or to its charging station.

Counselor Stabby has somehow blundered its way into receiving all of the highest honors that can be bestowed by human society. It helps run an empire. It saves lives. It cleans donut crumbs off of the floor without being asked.

All without a single sentient thought.

Counselor Stabby becomes legend.

The humans have started a campaign to use Counselor Stabby as a model to create better bots. 

“Why does a human’s consideration for a ‘better bot’ mean more knives, sir?” the young ambassador said, staring at the contraption in front of him. 

“ we are unsure of their purpose, we have many reports of these creations protecting their home ships. “ The advisor said also staring at the contraptions many spinning blades. 

The residing human walked into the room squealing, quite to loud for the ambassador’s taste, at the contraption. 

“ Aren’t you just a spinning bundle of death! “ The human cried out happily? (The ambassador was still unsure of humans deployment of emotions.) The delivery droid, with knife blades above its propellors, bobbed up and down before depositing it’s ‘gift’ (as the human called it) and leaving through the bot-hatch with a frightening scream accompanying it.

Thes humans, they were, well, humans. The ambassador would need to read more on their culture to even remotely understand them. 

**STABBY**

*buzzes happily*

butchbabe:

I AM SO TIRED OF ABLE BODIED CIS PEOPLE ASKING ME FOR MY OPINION ON TRANS + GAY + CLASS + DISABILITY ISSUES AND THEN PLAYING THE ‘DEVILS ADVOCATE’ TO TRY TO MILK ME OF ALL OF MY TRAINING, EXPERTISE, AND LIVED EXPERIENCE ON THESE ISSUES LIKE GO READ A FUCKING BOOK OR DO A GOOGLE SEARCH! MY BRAIN AND EMOTIONAL CAPACITY AND SUFFERING AS A MARGINALIZED PERSON DO NOT EXIST FOR YOUR ENDLESS FETISHIZATION

stardustsherlock:

spacebumble:

lochnessie:

1. Can we as millennials and gen-z’s collectively agree that NObody Cares about elbows on the table like Why was that Ever A Problem for Anyone?? We can chill right?

nobody asked for this but the origin of not putting one’s elbows on the table comes from the late 18th/early 19th century when wooden ships were still used in the navy- sailors would balance their plates between their elbows while eating to keep them from sliding around. because sailors developed a reputation on-land for being uncouth and aggressive, the placing of elbows on the table became associated with such behaviour.

some cultural historians believe it also goes back further, to the middle ages, when large banquet-style meals were served on trestle tables that had no side support. if someone put their elbows on the table, they risked bringing the whole table down with them.

so basically, there is no longer any need to NOT put elbows on the table, and there hasn’t been since the advent of steamships.

I love this because now i can smartass the next person who tries to give me shit for it

garashirs:

“pride month is almost over”??? you fools. it’s twentygayteen, every month is pride month. it’s pride year.

100transpositivity:

It’s okay if you want to change your name. It’s okay if you don’t.

It’s okay if you hate your birthname. It’s okay if you’re indifferent to it or even love it but you want to change it.

Your name doesn’t have to match your gender, but it’s okay if you want it to.

klingonrealitytelevision:

delicatelytoobear:

andrusi:

fuck-bones:

static-shocked:

sapphia:

autisticgayrey:

I don’t think ppl realize that the oldest “millenials” are like 30+ now. We know what vhs tapes and CDs are. If you mean teenagers, say teenagers.

im 21 and grew up with vhs and cds. literally you’d have to be under 18 to not know about them.

And even then, most kids under 18 know what they are because they typically had a VCR kickin around to watch disney or old movies on.

most ppl used their VHS/VCR until around 2005-2007 so you literally have to be 15ish and under to have never used one and 10ish and under to have never seen/heard of one. 

they say millenials and they mean actual children lol 

stores that sell media type stuff: *still have big cd sections*

bafflingly many writers: “what’s a cd?” said bobby the teenager

Also why do people get judged for not knowing obsolete formats? Like they’re not idiots it’s just not a media format in use anymore, things change, time moves forward. chill out and leave kids alone. 

The only thing that my teenage brothers aren’t aware of are floppy disks.