freelancervermont:

nightterrorbeauty:

natawhat:

misandrist:

People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

drinking permit

“What’s that in your sippy cup?”

“Vodka.”

propitlikeithot:

notevensneaky:

teaboot:

scotchtapeofficial:

princess-peridot:

scotchtapeofficial:

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

How did you know if you dialed the right number

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

tired-n-trash:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

I like how the only reason Harry is able to fight the imperious curse so easily is because it hits him and he’s like “Ah I feel calm and relaxed and happy…this is wrong.”

harry: serotonin? in this economy?

clusterphoque:

do you ever get weirded out by the fact that everyone around you is constantly within their own mind and thinking a million secret thoughts and battling internal struggles just like you and that you’re not the only one who thinks these things and that the people around you aren’t just faces meant to fill up your life but they’re actually really deep people who have a lot more to them than you ever actually even think about

artemesiae:

friends are not people to drop once you get a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

friends are not a phase of childhood that you grow out of once you become an “adult” due to having a romantic relationship. 

friends are not empty vessels for you to dump your romantic problems onto. 

cultivate your friendships. hold onto them. love them. because if what you have with your partner doesn’t work out, you may not find those friends to go back to.