teaboot:

One time in I asked my English teacher if I could go to the bathroom and he said the ‘I don’t know, can you’ line like it was something new and clever and my mind just sort of went stupid and I told him that if there was a colloquial gap between ‘can I’ and ‘may I’  that was significant enough to genuinely confuse him in the context of a classroom then maybe he shouldn’t be teaching highschool English, and what nobody tells you about that sort of situation is that no matter how good it feels, you do have to come back and finish the rest of the class

broduel:

messy, stressy and a lil depressy

nice-guy-satan:

deepnest:

splickedylit:

if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.

if i was a shapeshifter id have fat fucking tits

If I was a shapeshifter I’d be able to transition without having to spend a shit ton of money