Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.
Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.
Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.
Sink millions into paying off peopleâs Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.
Once youâve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS.
You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.
Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, itâs not like you need to âmakeâ money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)
Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.
Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.
And donât worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because youâll be able to write off several millionsâ worth of charitable donations.
Basically this
This is someone who paid attention in finance class.Â
my siblingâs desire to repeat jokes they heard on tumblr in the company of normal people and my motherâs hypersensitive militant veganism clash so often in the funniest ways
this conversation just happened
sibling: i feel like all horses are carnivores. i donât care what they eat. theyâre carnivores in their soul.
mother: (long silence)
mother: i donât think they are carnivores. i think they are beautiful.
OH MY GOD whyyyy did no one tell me youâre supposed to send thank-yous after interviews?? Why would I do that???
âThank you for this incredibly stressful 30 minutes that I have had to re-structure my entire day around and which will give me anxiety poos for the next 24 hours.â
I HATE ETIQUETTE ITâS THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING FOR ME TO LEARN WITHOUT SOMEONE DIRECTLY TELLING ME THIS SHIT
NO ONE TOLD YOU???? WTF! I HAVE FAILED YOU.
Also:
Dear ______:
Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit down with you (&________) to discuss the [insert job position]. I am grateful to be considered for the position. I think I will be a great fit at [company name], especially given my experience in __________. [insert possible reference to something you talked about, something that excited you.] I look forward to hearing from you [and if you are feeling super confident: and working together in the future].
My brother got a really great paid internship one summer. The guy who hired him said the deciding factor was the professional thank you letter my brother sent after the interview.
should it be an email? or like a physical letter?
email, you want to send it within a few hours at max after the interview if you can so itâs fresh in their mind who you are.Â
Confirmed! I interviewed for a job right after arriving in NY. The interview went incredibly well, and I went home and immediately wrote a thank you letter and put it in the mail. I had a super good feeling about this interview.
I didnât get the job.
However, a few weeks later, I was called in to interview with another editor in the same company, and I did get that job. I found out later from the initial editor (the one who didnât hire me) that he had planned to offer me the job, but since I didnât follow up with a thank you letter, he assumed I didnât really want it. He offered the job to another contenderâbut when he got my letter in the mail shortly after the offer had already been made, he went to HR and gave me a glowing recommendation. It was based on that recommendation that I got called in for the second interview.
So: send an email thank you immediately (same day!) after the interview. If youâre feeling extra, go ahead and send a written one too. OR go immediately to a coffee shop, write the letter, and return to the office and give it to the secretary.
Either way, those letters are important.
Pro tip: If you really want HR to develop a personal interest in your application, publicly thank them on linkedin. Just make a short post telling your network about how X recruiter really went above and beyond to make you feel welcome, or about how be accommodating and professional they were, or whatever. Make sure to use the mention feature so theyâll get a notification and see it.Â
Flattery will get you everywhere⌠and public flattery that might make its way back to their manager, doubly so.
Obligatory plug for one of FreePrintable.netâs sites: ThankYouLetter.ws. They have a whole section with interview thank you letter templates, and a page with specific tips for interview thank you letters. (There are also tons of other letter templates if you browse around a bit.)
As a former professional recruiter and recruiting manager, I confirm, especially for entry-level positions, where you are competing with oodles of people. This little thing can make a difference. Also the fact that, maybe, you took time to google the âinterview etiquetteâ.
SIGNAL BOOST
Hand written when you know it will get there in time! This is why itâs important to ask about when the next decisions will be made. But email works well in a crunch and you know it gets to them
QueerGalaxies 