to men worried about being “punished” for acting the “wrong way” toward female coworkers because of the #metoo movement:
sexual harassment is illegal. and it’s clear cut in the legal definitions. you hug a coworker or touch her shoulder or flirt with her? fine. you tell an inappropriate joke you’re pretty sure she’s cool with? ok. nothing bad will happen to you. but if she tells you to stop or says she’s uncomfortable, and you keep up the same behavior? that’s called “creating a hostile work environment” and is considered sexual harassment, which is illegal.
you want to date a subordinate in your workplace, and your employer doesn’t have rules against that? peachy, but the second you try to give that employee preferential treatment or retaliate against them (i.e. grant them a promotion or cut their hours) depending on whether or not they accept your advances, that’s called “quid pro quo” sexual harassment, and it’s illegal.
so honestly it’s pretty clear cut. if you make a mistake, the person will either tell you directly to cut it out, or they’ll tell someone in HR who will have a talk with you. it doesn’t become an issue unless you keep doing it after being told to stop or abuse your power to pressure someone into saying yes. and that’s the line between harmless flirting + harassment: the person’s right to reject you. welcome to a little thing we call consent
that first one is important to understand because i think dudes in the aggregate dont realize how terrifying it is to be in a situation with someone who is making you uncomfortable in a sexual way, at your job, and verbally tell them youre uncomfortable and you want them to stop. i count myself fortunate never have needed to do it because the idea of it gives me anxiety. i would much rather leave the situation than confront the person. but the law states that the onus is on the victim to speak up rather than the perpetrator to read basic nonverbal communication and be able to tell when somethings not okay, and they are STILL out here complaining about how hard they have it.
Exactly. It’s already hard enough to report this stuff to begin with, which is why of course, ideally, men wouldn’t even put women in these positions to begin with, but they have nothing to worry about as it is, because legally speaking, they’re only in trouble once the victim specifically states they don’t like the behavior and they don’t stop. So only men who have literally been told DIRECTLY to cut it the fuck out and don’t are the ones who will be held accountable in the workplace.
QueerGalaxies 