theroguefeminist:

slythwolf:

theroguefeminist:

to men worried about being “punished” for acting the “wrong way” toward female coworkers because of the #metoo movement: 

sexual harassment is illegal. and it’s clear cut in the legal definitions. you hug a coworker or touch her shoulder or flirt with her? fine. you tell an inappropriate joke you’re pretty sure she’s cool with? ok. nothing bad will happen to you. but if she tells you to stop or says she’s uncomfortable, and you keep up the same behavior? that’s called “creating a hostile work environment” and is considered sexual harassment, which is illegal. 

you want to date a subordinate in your workplace, and your employer doesn’t have rules against that? peachy, but the second you try to give that employee preferential treatment or retaliate against them (i.e. grant them a promotion or cut their hours) depending on whether or not they accept your advances, that’s called “quid pro quo” sexual harassment, and it’s illegal. 

so honestly it’s pretty clear cut. if you make a mistake, the person will either tell you directly to cut it out, or they’ll tell someone in HR who will have a talk with you. it doesn’t become an issue unless you keep doing it after being told to stop or abuse your power to pressure someone into saying yes. and that’s the line between harmless flirting + harassment: the person’s right to reject you. welcome to a little thing we call consent

that first one is important to understand because i think dudes in the aggregate dont realize how terrifying it is to be in a situation with someone who is making you uncomfortable in a sexual way, at your job, and verbally tell them youre uncomfortable and you want them to stop. i count myself fortunate never have needed to do it because the idea of it gives me anxiety. i would much rather leave the situation than confront the person. but the law states that the onus is on the victim to speak up rather than the perpetrator to read basic nonverbal communication and be able to tell when somethings not okay, and they are STILL out here complaining about how hard they have it.

Exactly. It’s already hard enough to report this stuff to begin with, which is why of course, ideally, men wouldn’t even put women in these positions to begin with, but they have nothing to worry about as it is, because legally speaking, they’re only in trouble once the victim specifically states they don’t like the behavior and they don’t stop. So only men who have literally been told DIRECTLY to cut it the fuck out and don’t are the ones who will be held accountable in the workplace.

tenacious-brii:

topshelfbottom:

thatonenerdgirl:

just-shower-thoughts:

Let’s all take a moment and thank biology that our internal organs don’t itch.

Fun fact: digestion is actually really painful but your brain just tells you it’s fine the same way it tells you not to bite off your fingure even though you can

that’s… frustrating

Hey quick question why the FUCK doesn’t it do that for menstrual cramps

buffskeleton:

buffskeleton:

honestly the worst thing abt star wars is that i hate going on the beach and if someone asks me why i have to literally say with my mouth ‘i hate sand’ and then i have to try So Hard not to go ‘it’s course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere’ but he’s Right anakin skywalker is 100% Correct sand is the Worst

i was hanging out w my girl yesterday and she started talking about how she would love to go on holiday to the beach and i physically couldnt talk for the next couple of minutes because the majority of my brain was yelling ‘say the line!!! say the fucking line!!!!’

goathornsandblackwool:

goathornsandblackwool:

“Aw man I wish you could like go on ~platonic dates~ with friends and like sleep in the same bed as your friend and cudddle with your friends and have someone that you don’t just hang out in groups with but like, have long deep conversations and share secrets”

I don’t know what the fuck happened to you guys younger than me in your formative years but literally everyyyything you’re describing is something that was included in the concept of ‘best friends’ as it was repeatedly presented to me as a child and teen.

SOmething happened along the way that got so many people thinking that ‘friend’ is ‘anyone and everyone you repeatedly  have ‘friendly’ contact with’ and that’s NOT TRUE.

We need to seriously bring back the word ‘acquaintance’. You need to familiarize yourself with it.

Because all of you complaining about having friend groups full of people who talk shit about you or exclude you? You don’t have friends, those are acquaintances.

Those ‘friends’ who don’t actually know much about you and aren’t that concerned about you? Acquaintances.

Those ‘friends’ you know who wouldn’t go one on one with you shopping, to lunch, to the movies? Acquaintances.

You are acquainted. You know each other. You are friendly towards each other. But that’s it. You’re not friends.

Somewhere along the way the term ‘friend’ became ‘anyone you know and talk to in a positive manner’ and that’s fine but in that case we ALSO need to re-legitimize the term best friend.

Because to a one, every post whining about ‘platonic mates’ and pining for ‘platonic dates’ is literally just someone wishing they had a best friend.

All of them.

Addition: You can be friendly to someone without being friends. Everyone who is friendly to you isn’t necessarily your friend.

And that’s okay. Having people in your life that are not and never will be your friends is normal and good.

It helps you see and thus value who your friends actually are. They’re special people for a reason.