One of the contractors at work drove past my shack on a forklift yesterday, stopped, backed up to my window and said, “hey, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”
My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-
-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”
Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.
Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”
And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”
And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.
Like?? Thank god for Contractor tbh. He’s an angel among men, and I hope the rest of his life is filled with prosperity and happiness and like, that he finds $20 on the ground every week for the rest of his life.
Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.
Update the Second: I saw Contractor while doing my tour and he told me that the guy that asked if I was single was around, and that if I saw him, I should just make complicated hand gestures at him while I walk by to scare him off.
So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????
It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????
What the fuck??????
Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓
Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.
It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)
Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.
Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.
If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.
As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. 🙂
Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good
This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?
As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.
This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.
Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.
And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!
As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!
the statue in the bottom right is Le génie du mal, carved by guillame geefs to replace a different lucifer (known as either Le génie du mal or L’ange du mal) carved by his younger brother. why did joseph geefs’ lucifer get removed from the cathedral? it was too sexy. the statue was too sexy by far.
st. paul’s cathedral in liége went from one lucifer, whom they called ‘too sublime’ and removed because he was distracting ‘pretty penitent girls,’ to another lucifer, who they’ve left there for 170 years even though he’s so hot that satanists visit the cathedral to meditate in the presence of this Most Sexy Of Lucifers
here’s how i imagine that went down.
liege cathedral: hmm. you know what we need? a nice satan for our church. let’s ask joey geefs
joseph geefs: sculpts this
liege cathedral: no!! too hot!! now we all want to fuck lucifer! we need a different satan. let’s ask… the sexy lucifer sculptor’s BROTHER. yes. willy geefs is older so he definitely doesn’t want to fuck lucifer
guillaume geefs, who DOES want to fuck lucifer, and the only sign of his being older than his brother is that the lucifer he wants to fuck is somewhat older: sculpts this
liege cathedral: shit. well we don’t have any more money for lucifers so i guess we’ll keep this sexy lucifer
mlm, straight girls, and satanists in the vicinity of liege: NICE
also guys i think it’s time to start spelling ‘small’ right again,, it’s been long enough
see the thing is, at this point, smol isn’t even a “mispelling” of small anymore; it has its own connotations. while small is a regular adjective, smol acts more like a diminutive marker, which English has been lacking
in essence, a smol dog will always be a small dog, but not all small dogs are smol.
what the fuck are you talking about
Linguistic evolution. Accept the smolness into your vocabulary and be cleansed.
@nentindo, assuming you’re asking in good faith & not just trying to dismiss a perfectly accurate analysis, here’s an elaboration of what @princeofdoomrps said:
small and smol mean different things, so they’re different words. smol means something like “small in a cute way” & not just like both small and cute but the two are related. This is what makes smol more like a diminutive marker (c.f. -tje in Dutch, or -let/-ling/-ie [like in kidlet/kidling/kiddie] in some forms of English*)
note that: 1. not all small things are smol. Microbes and electrons? Generally not considered smol.
2. similar-sized things in the same category can be smol or not depending on cuteness. So, a tiny cottage may be a smol house, but an equally tiny tenement room that is an awful place to live? Not smol.
3. smol can refer to youth (e.g. the people I call my “smol frens” are mostly taller than I am but much younger)
4. It also can have implications of fondness/emotional attachment, especially, from what I’ve seen, in fandoms where people call characters things like “my smol son”, which doesn’t have to mean someone who’s actually young, short, or cute at all. Like, IDK if anyone uses that to refer to Hannibal but I wouldn’t be surprised?
So! There are contexts where you could call something/someone small but not smol, and contexts where you could call something/someone smol but not small. This is the textbook definition of “different words”. They are no longer the same word and op, you are very welcome to only use one of them! Anyone is!
Just be aware that pretty much every part of your vocabulary, someone at some point has decried as “wrong” usage and complained about people mangling the language this way, and when you do this thing you’re carrying on a long tradition of pompous silliness.
–
*
English isn’t completely lacking in diminutive markers just kinda deficient.
And some of those markers have become derisive or dismissive in usage, which i hope never happens to my smol word-child, smol.
[edited for clarity]
This is how we do language. This is language happening.
QueerGalaxies 